I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize