We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
