you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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