I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
