I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
