thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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