cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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