There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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