Umm I'm too high to move.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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