There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
