Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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