i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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