There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
