There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
