thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cock deserves a montage
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Randomize