I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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