I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
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I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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