my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
