is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
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If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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