i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
