My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
