belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Michael Bay diarrhea
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
