come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i barfeds in our rink
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
