I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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