well I can't set my house on fire every night
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
