Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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