Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
