I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
