I just pynch a tree in the face
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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