So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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