I can tuck mytits in my pants
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
