Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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