i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
