I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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