So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
