My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
