Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
