this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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