fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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