nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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