dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
accomplished twins. life is a go
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
