explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
