I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize