Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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