Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize