So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
