I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
