Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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