Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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