Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
