I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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