Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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