we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
