Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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