It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
