how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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