She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
