Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
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He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
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I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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