she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
