wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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