I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
