is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
