My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
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