umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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