HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
